 Some are surprising, and some are crazy, but these factors come into play when choosing a partner or even just going for a hook up, like his navel or the color of your outfit. Intriguing, yes? Read on… Your Scent Should Be Part of the Foreplay The perfect combination lavender and pumpkin can turn guys on, but you don’t have to drench yourself in lavender oil and bake a batch of pumpkin pies to get that smell. You can create this wonderful scent combination by lighting a couple of candles and spraying these scents on your skin. On the other hand, tell your man to wear cologne that has hints of cucumber or black licorice, since these scents have been found to attract women. Colors That Are More Desirable A woman in red is more likely to be asked out on a date and have guys spend more money on her. The reason behind this is men are more influenced by cultural symbols like Valentine’s Day that are related to the color of romance, and are urged by their primal instincts that link the color to sex. This is probably another reason why animals’ butts turn red when they are prepared to mate. Cocktail Goggles Are Real When we get drunk, guys look more attractive because we stop noticing the symmetry of their faces. A symmetrical face is attractive because of a biological explanation: A guy with symmetry is less likely to have genetic defects, which ultimately make better mates. Guys Do This When They’re Into Someone A guy will subconsciously point his navel toward the woman he wants to hook up with in a room, even if he is engaged in conversation with somebody else. Size up your competition by checking out which of the ladies are pointing their navels at him, since this rule applies to women too. It’s All About Timing There may be a time when you might be salivating over that beefy guy you see at the gym, and then you start craving for your slender neighbor the next. The reason? Ovulating women favor guys with more masculine features that can make stronger, healthier children, while menstruating women would go for guys with softer, more feminine looks that look kinder and more considerate.
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 Even if you constantly swear that your exes are completely different, experts say that most women have a hookup pattern they keep going back to. Find out how to break yours for a relationship that won’t leave you in pain. Most of us have a hook up relationship pattern you know, that same type of guy we keep falling for and it can either work for or against us. It’s not unnatural for women to keep coming across the type of men that wronged them in the past. So how do you change the way you’re drawn to people you hook up with? It’s no easy task, but it all begins with knowing where your attraction to these kinds of guys primarily came from. According to experts, we develop our taste in men at a young age anywhere between childhood and adolescence. Everyone has a relationship pattern based on what they’ve learned about love while growing up, whether it’s positive or negative. Choosing the wrong guys repeatedly is a sign that you may be driven to recreate the drama you experienced with your father or first boyfriend. A lot of women with neglectful dads or have let an arrogant basketball team captain trifle with them for years will go for guys who are unavailable or those who talk them down because they are subconsciously trying to resolve things with the men who let them down early in their lives, even if it clearly doesn’t resolve anything. Women who get involved in these highly vitriolic patterns are hooked on the highs and lows of their hookup relationships and can form what experts call “betrayal bonds. These betrayal bonds cause them to feel more attached to these men who show them extreme and at times dangerous forms of attention. They will eventually feel that a guy doesn’t love them unless they’re getting yelled at in their faces or trying to win them back. All men have their less-than-admirable moments, but there are major signs that let you know your type is not good for you. Always feeling bad about yourself as you become more involved with a guy is a dead giveaway that something is not right. Look out for these other red flags: the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells whenever you’re around him and having to drop everything just to spend time with him even if you know he won’t do the same. And even only you know what your relationships are really like, pay attention to your friends and family if they disapprove of the men you hookup with. To change the type of men you are attracted to, you will need to stop believing that what you’ve experienced is how love has to or should be. Ask friends who are involved in a happy relationship how their guy treats them, so you can know what you’re missing out on. Of if you just came off a bad breakup, consider seeking the help of a therapist to make peace with the guy who originally wronged you. And if you need extra motivation, imagine what your life would be in ten years if you’re still at it, choosing men who treat you badly versus guys who will love and care for you, and treat you in a positive way. Your future is for you to decide.
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 According to studies, we all have an adult dating pattern we stick to. It can be of the physical nature, like when you are always drawn to buff guys; or their personality, like when you go for either mysterious introverts or outgoing dudes. Read on for advice given by relationship expert Andrea Syrtash to help you figure out how your adult dating pattern works, and how to tell if it’s right for you. Why do we form adult dating patterns? What usually happens is we assign qualities to people that are based on very little information, and then believe that those qualities are what we need in a guy we date. I’ve come across people who’ve said, “I would never go out dating a shy guy,” believing him to be dull and boring, and then realizing after that the person is interesting and fun to be with he just wasn’t as outgoing as their usual type. How can you tell if the adult dating pattern you’re following is bad for you? When you date the same type of guys, and then expect different results from the ones that have burned you before, this is an indication that your adult dating pattern is not doing you any good. You should know instantly when your pattern isn’t working well for you if you’re always playing the same disappointing role in your relationships. What you need to do is stop focusing on the guy you’re dating and instead look at who you are whenever you’re with him. Are you more outgoing than usual? Or maybe more confused than ever? Observe how you act when he’s around to find out if your pattern works for you. How can you break a bad pattern? First be totally honest with yourself to find out what your pattern is before you can break it. Try asking yourself: If my adult dating life was to be made into a movie, how would it begin and how would it end? What role do I constantly play? You’ll pick up some clues, and you’ll figure out that it’s quite normal to get into patterns, even those that are doomed to fail. After identifying what pattern you’re in, commit to going outside of your comfort zone so you can break this pattern. Try doing things you don’t frequently do and go to places you don’t normally go to meet new people. Should you go out with a guy who is completely different from your exes? That’s a resounding yes, and that’s not to say settle for anyone who is less than you want. Think about your three major “must haves” and “can’t stands,” and just be open to the fact that those qualities may come in different packages.
 I am pretty sure you’ve all wondered about your first love back in high school who will forever hold your shared memory of your first kiss, or maybe that cute blonde you spent the whole summer with at camp. Whoever this old flame is, she is someone who has always left you thinking about what could have been if you decided to stick and hook up with her. Although it is useless to dwell in the past, guys should always know how to look forward and learn from their errors, if that can be considered. Wisdom grows with time, and the right love comes after going through many heartbreaks. Unless Cupid teamed up with Lady Luck and conspired to give you the perfect romantic bliss, it’s possible you’ll need to have a few attempts before you get it right. But what if your first time hook up was the best you ever had? How would you know she was your best possible match? The issue arises when you don’t know if she really is your true love, and you only realize her worth after you let her go. In an attempt to avoid sounding melodramatic, I am trying to paint a picture of how it might feel to have your lady love slip through your fingers like fine powdery sand on a pristine white beach. As much as you want to hold on, it’s simply too late once you’ve decided to let go. Guys, don’t confuse love with passion and attraction for a woman. Being smitten with a woman does not necessarily qualify her as a perfect hook up partner for you. She could actually be a venomous temptress who can sink her sharp teeth deep into your flesh, injecting her deadly poison. Still, the best way to go is to live in the moment, and not just in love. You should know how to plan ahead, making sure you meet all your needs in the present. However, taking regular breaks from each other is not the right way to test if the relationship is worth keeping. What couples should avoid doing is the yo-yo game with their relationships wherein they break up, realize they can’t live without each other, get back together, and then break up again because they become fully aware they were right the first time around. Just like when milk turns into yogurt, there are relationships that turn sour after a certain period of time. However, the trick here is knowing if it is headed that way. Some love stories end in tragedy, but then again, that’s perfectly normal.
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 Guys are often stereotyped as the ones who are careless and insensitive in an adult dating relationship, never paying attention to small details. What we don’t realize is that we should sometimes take time for the little things, because they can help in big ways. For guys, being in an adult dating relationship means putting more care and attention to your woman’s feelings and expectations. Although, this doesn’t mean you should wait on her hand and foot. To get a better grasp on the subject, read on. The issue lies on men not being able to put an effort to do little meaningful acts of compassion. Even if we believe that the bigger picture is worth more than the sum of all its parts, a surprise gesture always gets big points in the adult dating relationship score board. So if you’re trying to win in the game of love, there’s always a little something that you can do to show her you care, which is sometimes easier than saying “I love you.” Hold her hand As ordinary and commonplace as it may sound, this gesture means a lot to women. The fact that you’re letting the world know you are together is a huge turn-on for them. Give her a compliment Telling her you like her new shoes or that the scent of her perfume smells great implies that you notice the subtle changes she makes to look and smell good, which incidentally she all does for you. Be chivalrous Chivalry is definitely not dead, and women still get a kick out of it. Pull a chair for her at a restaurant table, offer your jacket if she’s cold, or open her car door whatever act it is, she’ll greatly appreciate it. Learn to do something for her Men are known to be independent and self-sufficient, so learning to cook for her will get you much loving. Prepare a delicious pasta dish, and there’s no need to let her know we gave you the idea. Invite her to go out with your friends Even if you can have time alone with the boys, asking her to have a night out with your pals will mean a lot. Make sure to really ask her to come, and not just cave in to her pressure ploys to have you include her in your plans. Take a trip together This may not count as a little thing, but it will surely put stars in her eyes when she finds out you planned a romantic getaway. Remember to bring whipped cream and scented candles for a night of guaranteed pleasure.
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 You’ve been spending a lot of time trying to hook up with girls online, but you can’t seem to find a decent match. You’re now wondering if there is something wrong. Is it your profile? Is it the way you break the ice? Fret not! Here are a few essential tips to help you successfully hook up with girls online. Going Solo When uploading photos to your online dating profile, make sure to include some where you’re having fun with other people. Nothing says possible weirdo more than a profile with nothing but solo shots of you. Girls will think you have no friends and no other options. Also, don’t include pictures of you all over a variety of other women. It just says you’re either a player or a horn dog. Expert Tip: Try including at least one photo showing you’re the center of attention in a group of people. Bad Shots Photos are very important because they are used to tell others who you are, and they are the first things that women check out at online dating sites, so make sure you look your best in your display picture. Be in clothes that express who you are, and make sure your hair looks nice. Expert Tip: Look away from the camera! Studies show that women tend to click on a guy’s profile if he’s not looking at the camera in his profile photo. It’s Not an Interview In filling out content in your “About Me” section, do not list down your likes/dislikes, Wikipedia facts about you, or characteristics you’re looking for in a woman. It’s boring. Express your personality in your write up by being descriptive. Try telling a funny story that can best express the person you are, or describe an adventure you can go on in one of your dates. Just give them something interesting they can comment on to start a connection. Expert Tip: Make sure your grammar and spelling are correct. It’s a huge turn off for most women if you’re terrible at them. Awful Messages The first message you send can make or break your chances when you hookup with girls online, so it would be best to put some thought into it. Short messages are not the way to go, and so are long boring ones. Write something that will draw out an emotional response, and make sure to keep it fun. Attractive women may receive a lot of messages per day, so try to stand out. Expert Tip: Using humor is a fantastic way to break the ice and relieve the tension of a first message. Be creative!
 Is there some form of fiend out there hiding, just waiting to ruin your date hookup relationship this holiday season? This year, it’s time to put your foot down and not let it get to you; or at least be prepared when it does. You have holiday sex with an ex Unfortunately, connecting with a past lover is common during the holidays. People get nostalgic during this time. You tend to be drawn towards things that make you comfortable and familiar, and then your ex comes in. If this happens, make sure you both know where you stand. Find out where he stands physically and emotionally. If he is attempting to make New Year plans with you and you’re completely over him, let him off gently. It is more satisfying to turn him down if he was the one who dumped you in the first place. Your present makes his look small Don’t think that a small gift means little feelings. You have to accept the fact that some people are just awful gift givers, especially in the beginning of a date hookup relationship. If you have given too much, just think of yourself as generous, and be pleased you made someone happy. But if you’re not that delighted with his “tiny” gift, explore those feelings and talk about it. What you can do is agree to give each other empirical gifts you can both enjoy together like tickets to a football game or a theater production. You break up just before the holiday season The key here is not generalizing events that happen this time of the year. There are some people who think that if they’re not with someone on that special day, that means they never will. However, just because you have nobody with right now doesn’t mean you won’t find love. Your whole life does not depend on this. All those pre-holiday breakups only means there are a lot more single people out there than there was a month ago. You insult his family Once this shameful deed is done, it’s time for immediate damage control. Don’t just ignore the situation hoping it would go away, because it definitely won’t. You will always be known as the girl who insulted his mother. The only way to get through this is to apologize and make amends, so that everyone can move on.
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 So you think you’re having a tough time on Valentine’s Day? What would you do if you had to look for the perfect gift for, not just one, but three lovers? What if you have the need to plan a weekend sex-a-thon for six? For the obvious reasons they have superpowers, we asked a few polyamorous individuals for City Sex rules on what to do to please multiple partners. Love is a battlefield; prepare like you are going to war Have you ever tried to get for people together for a night of board games? Now you can imagine how difficult it is to coordinate with everyone for a trip to Europe. Your plans may not be as complex as theirs, but not planning all the details could lead to couple disasters. The City Sex Rule: Would you go out on a date without having protection? The same principle applies: Plan the night ahead of time or you’ll end up going home getting zilch. Internet dating Since teleportation hasn’t been perfected yet, there is a way for couples in long-distance relationships to see each other on Valentine’s Day. You see, a webcam is an awesome invention. It can be used to spend a virtual “hot and steamy” time privately with your partner. However, this needs some getting used to. It can be really funny at first, as you try to position the camera just to get yourself into the right frame for some “action” flowing. The City Sex Rule: Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Screw that. Utilize modern technology to communicate with each other even if your worlds apart. A Threesome (or more) can be a better time There are some who are not into the V Day spirit. Their attitude toward holidays—Valentine’s Day included—is now “the more the merrier.” Jenny Block, author of “Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage,” is one of them. Her holiday is spent with brunch that includes her husband, their daughter and girlfriend. The City Sex Rule: If you are the anti-Valentine’s Day type, don’t disregard the holiday. Instead, turn it into a party. You can even earn Karma points by inviting your single friends. Give some lip service So, what do you think is more important to your relationship than a steamy night between the sheets? Honest communication, you say? You are definitely right. It always pays to be up front and do prodding. If you feel afraid of your partner’s reaction to any of your Valentine’s Day situations, think about this: These people in multiple relationships had the balls to tell others that they want an open relationship. The City Sex Rule: The spirit of Valentine’s Day is all about love, sharing and… a well-played defense.
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 If you are the type of guy who would just like to pass on ever having dinner with your girl’s folks, I can offer a few helpful City Sex suggestions for not getting an invitation. Perhaps you just want to spend time with your own family, or you’re just not sociable, or they’re racist against Asians and you’re Jet Li. It doesn’t really matter. Just follow my City Sex advice and guess who’s not invited to dinner? You. Greeting the parents If it’s your first time to meet them, keep in mind that, just like in business, the handshake is very important. This can be a good opportunity to show her dad how weak you are, that you like to wear your driving gloves all the time, or you just don’t know how to break eye contact. If you’re thinking whether to shake her mom’s hand or go in for a hug, don’t do any of those. Just follow the European custom of kissing her briefly on both cheeks, followed by a long probing Frenchie. If you’ve already met them, you can always try shaking the dad’s hand while tickling his palm with your finger. The probing tongue kiss will still probably work on mom too. Eating the parents Having a meal can be a great opportunity to alienate them. If you’re not a natural sloppy eater, try numbing your hands or face with Novocaine. If you don’t have access to this, focus on being a terrible chewer. Try taking in a large amount of food, and then silently sing your favorite Muse song. When it comes to the food, it would be very helpful if you have many allergies and aversions. You can lie if you don’t have one. Let them know you have a bad relationship with food. You can also tell them you are a health nut by dabbing everything with napkin to “take out the grease” even if it’s a seafood salad. If they are the type that says grace, this is your chance to establish you are a socialist atheist. Enchanting the parents Being a bad conversationalist is key! Keep in mind that a polite guest means being engaged and entertained, so pick out random places in the room to look at in case somebody calls your attention. Going for the tight-lipped tactic can work well, but sometimes being a talker can seal the deal. Try discussing money, religion and politics in mixed company, and prove to your girlfriend’s parents that you’re a modern feminist. Walk around the house and pick out items, asking how much each costs. If the chit-chat dies down, fill any conversational gaps by telling them how much you hate your job or by quoting lines from movies.
 Attending holiday season parties is like weddings—if you’ve gone through all the trouble of dressing up, shopping for gifts, and suffering the humiliation subjected upon you by the gracious host, you deserve to go home with somebody from the party, or maybe at least get a phone number. And on that note, we give you a helpful City Sex guide on dos and don’ts when attending holiday parties. DO: Thoughtfully shop for a gift. A bottle of whiskey, or any alcoholic beverage for that matter, is always easy and it doesn’t fail. However, adult dating you may be rewarded if you take time to pick out a unique, funny or special gift for your host or just to give away. Instead of being labeled as The Girl Who Loved Brandy, you can be The Girl Who Rocked the Party with her nice CD of the best dance hits of the year. DON’T: Give a dirty gift, even as a joke. Being kinky is great adult dating, but there is a right time and place for it, and neither is appropriate for the season. Women can actually get away with this more than men can. And yes, wind up penises are hilarious and inexpensive, but you wouldn’t want to be remembered as “the girl who did their gift shopping at a sex shop.” DO: Wear comfy footwear. This City Sex tip couldn’t be stressed enough. If it’s a house party, travel in boots and bring your nice pair of shoes in a bag. Do the same thing when going to a bar or a club and just coat check them. Remember that dancing is the key holiday ritual of mating. You need dry feet with appropriate footwear to fully use your right to get down. DON’T: Wear shoes that are too provocative, a.k.a. slutty. While holiday season parties can, and should get a little wild, this is the time when people think about family and unity. You can probably downplay the sexy until grandma goes to bed, or at least she’s had enough alcohol to even care. DO: Have fun. Hey, it’s the holidays, so don’t forget to be merry. When you’re back home, you tend to get a little stressed by your social interactions with all the people that you often forget the fact that you should be knocking back drinks and doing the kind of things you will resolve never to do again starting January. The holiday season doesn’t have to be all about other people; it should be also about you. DON’T: Ignore the hosts. Many of the parties we’re going to attend are hosted by our friends’ parents. For basic courtesy, pay thoughtful attention to the hosts. Make a sincere effort to show gratitude for inviting you, providing food, and for throwing the party. It can work wonders, especially if you’re planning to hit on their son.
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