Even if you constantly swear that your exes are completely different, experts say that most women have a hookup pattern they keep going back to. Find out how to break yours for a relationship that won’t leave you in pain.
Most of us have a hook up relationship pattern you know, that same type of guy we keep falling for and it can either work for or against us. It’s not unnatural for women to keep coming across the type of men that wronged them in the past. So how do you change the way you’re drawn to people you hook up with? It’s no easy task, but it all begins with knowing where your attraction to these kinds of guys primarily came from.
According to experts, we develop our taste in men at a young age anywhere between childhood and adolescence. Everyone has a relationship pattern based on what they’ve learned about love while growing up, whether it’s positive or negative.
Choosing the wrong guys repeatedly is a sign that you may be driven to recreate the drama you experienced with your father or first boyfriend. A lot of women with neglectful dads or have let an arrogant basketball team captain trifle with them for years will go for guys who are unavailable or those who talk them down because they are subconsciously trying to resolve things with the men who let them down early in their lives, even if it clearly doesn’t resolve anything.
Women who get involved in these highly vitriolic patterns are hooked on the highs and lows of their hookup relationships and can form what experts call “betrayal bonds. These betrayal bonds cause them to feel more attached to these men who show them extreme and at times dangerous forms of attention. They will eventually feel that a guy doesn’t love them unless they’re getting yelled at in their faces or trying to win them back.
All men have their less-than-admirable moments, but there are major signs that let you know your type is not good for you. Always feeling bad about yourself as you become more involved with a guy is a dead giveaway that something is not right. Look out for these other red flags: the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells whenever you’re around him and having to drop everything just to spend time with him even if you know he won’t do the same. And even only you know what your relationships are really like, pay attention to your friends and family if they disapprove of the men you hookup with.
To change the type of men you are attracted to, you will need to stop believing that what you’ve experienced is how love has to or should be. Ask friends who are involved in a happy relationship how their guy treats them, so you can know what you’re missing out on. Of if you just came off a bad breakup, consider seeking the help of a therapist to make peace with the guy who originally wronged you. And if you need extra motivation, imagine what your life would be in ten years if you’re still at it, choosing men who treat you badly versus guys who will love and care for you, and treat you in a positive way. Your future is for you to decide.
Most of us have a hook up relationship pattern you know, that same type of guy we keep falling for and it can either work for or against us. It’s not unnatural for women to keep coming across the type of men that wronged them in the past. So how do you change the way you’re drawn to people you hook up with? It’s no easy task, but it all begins with knowing where your attraction to these kinds of guys primarily came from.
According to experts, we develop our taste in men at a young age anywhere between childhood and adolescence. Everyone has a relationship pattern based on what they’ve learned about love while growing up, whether it’s positive or negative.
Choosing the wrong guys repeatedly is a sign that you may be driven to recreate the drama you experienced with your father or first boyfriend. A lot of women with neglectful dads or have let an arrogant basketball team captain trifle with them for years will go for guys who are unavailable or those who talk them down because they are subconsciously trying to resolve things with the men who let them down early in their lives, even if it clearly doesn’t resolve anything.
Women who get involved in these highly vitriolic patterns are hooked on the highs and lows of their hookup relationships and can form what experts call “betrayal bonds. These betrayal bonds cause them to feel more attached to these men who show them extreme and at times dangerous forms of attention. They will eventually feel that a guy doesn’t love them unless they’re getting yelled at in their faces or trying to win them back.
All men have their less-than-admirable moments, but there are major signs that let you know your type is not good for you. Always feeling bad about yourself as you become more involved with a guy is a dead giveaway that something is not right. Look out for these other red flags: the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells whenever you’re around him and having to drop everything just to spend time with him even if you know he won’t do the same. And even only you know what your relationships are really like, pay attention to your friends and family if they disapprove of the men you hookup with.
To change the type of men you are attracted to, you will need to stop believing that what you’ve experienced is how love has to or should be. Ask friends who are involved in a happy relationship how their guy treats them, so you can know what you’re missing out on. Of if you just came off a bad breakup, consider seeking the help of a therapist to make peace with the guy who originally wronged you. And if you need extra motivation, imagine what your life would be in ten years if you’re still at it, choosing men who treat you badly versus guys who will love and care for you, and treat you in a positive way. Your future is for you to decide.
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